Nathan Filer is an acclaimed British author and former mental health nurse, renowned for his debut novel "The Shock of the Fall," which won the Costa Book of the Year award. His work often explores themes of mental health with sensitivity and insight. Besides writing, Filer is a lecturer in Creative Writing at Bath Spa University, where he continues to inspire new generations of writers with his expertise and compassion.
I am not a poet, the nurses have told me as much. I am an in-between thing. A thing that is no longer a thing.
I am here. I am here. I am here.
I am trying not to feel, but it's not working out.
I am getting better, but I am not better.
We're all in two minds, aren't we? One is clever and has all the answers. The other is stupid and full of crazy ideas.
I am terrified of the inside of my head.
I'm scared that I will forget to remember.
I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for this. But I'm doing it anyway.
I don't know what to do with my face, so I just leave it alone.
I want to live again, but I don't know how.
I want to be good, but it's harder than I thought.
I keep looking for a way out, but there isn't one.