Nora Ephron

Show me a woman who cries when the trees lose their leaves in the autumn and I'll show you a real asshole.

Sometimes I believe that love dies but hope springs eternal.

The truth is, I'm not a nice person. I'm a dishonest, deceitful, faithless, disloyal, treacherous, malignant human being.

The nicest thing about getting old is not having to do a damn thing you don’t want to do.

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from.

I don't think any day is worth living without thinking about what you're going to eat next at all times.

You can never have too much butter.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

I have a theory that children remember two things - when you weren't there and when they threw up.

I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive.

I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.