"Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch" Quotes

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time.

It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitely wicked.

That was the trouble with humans: they were far too keen on making metaphysical comparisons.

The future came and went in the mildly discouraging way that futures do.

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers.

Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said Crowley. 'I mean, you get on a bike and it's a bit wobbly, but after a few miles it seems to be going all right, and as long as you don't stop pedaling it keeps going. But if you stop, you fall off.

Evil in general does not sleep, and therefore doesn’t see why anyone else should.

Heaven has no taste, and not one single sushi restaurant.

All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into 'Best of Queen' albums.