"I Am Not Myself These Days" Summary

Introduction

In "I Am Not Myself These Days", Josh Kilmer-Purcell takes readers on a gripping and emotional journey through the wild and unconventional life he led in New York City during the late 1990s. Filled with humor, heartbreak, and self-discovery, this memoir offers a unique and unfiltered glimpse into the world of drag queens, eccentric characters, and the pursuit of love and identity.

Brief Synopsis

Set in the vibrant and gritty backdrop of New York City, "I Am Not Myself These Days" follows the author, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, as he navigates his life as a drag queen named "Aqua" while working as an art director for a prominent ad agency. The story unfolds against the backdrop of the AIDS crisis, adding another layer of complexity and urgency to the narrative.

The book opens with Josh's chance encounter with a male escort named Jack, who becomes a central figure in his life. Their relationship is intense, passionate, and often tumultuous. As Josh immerses himself deeper into the world of drag, he struggles to balance his personal life, career, and the challenges of living with a secret identity.

Main Events

Main Characters

Josh Kilmer-Purcell (Aqua)

A talented drag queen and art director, Josh Kilmer-Purcell grapples with the complexities of his dual identity. As Aqua, he is vibrant, confident, and unapologetically flamboyant. However, as Josh, he battles with insecurities and the fear of being rejected by society.

Jack

Jack is a male escort with whom Josh falls in love. Their relationship is passionate but often fraught with conflict. Jack struggles with his own demons, and his actions have a profound impact on Josh's life.

Aqua's Friends

Throughout the memoir, various colorful characters inhabit Aqua's world, including fellow drag queens, artists, and party-goers. They provide both support and comic relief, but also serve as a reflection of the hedonistic and chaotic atmosphere of the 1990s New York City scene.

Themes and Insights

Identity and Self-Expression

"I Am Not Myself These Days" explores the theme of identity and self-expression through the lens of Josh's double life as Aqua. It delves into the challenges of navigating societal expectations, particularly for those who do not conform to traditional gender roles. The memoir also highlights the importance of embracing one's true self, even when faced with adversity and judgment.

Love and Relationships

The book portrays the complexities of love and relationships, particularly in the context of Josh's tumultuous romance with Jack. It examines the sacrifices, compromises, and heartbreaks that come with pursuing love and intimacy, while also shedding light on the power dynamics and struggles within relationships.

Addiction and Escapism

Josh's battle with addiction and his use of drag as a form of escapism are recurring themes throughout the memoir. It offers a stark portrayal of the destructive nature of addiction and the lengths individuals may go to numb their pain or escape their reality.

Reader's Takeaway

"I Am Not Myself These Days" is a captivating and poignant memoir that offers a raw and unfiltered account of one man's quest for love, identity, and self-acceptance in the face of adversity. Josh Kilmer-Purcell's writing is both humorous and heartbreaking, drawing readers into his world and immersing them in the vibrancy and chaos of 1990s New York City. This memoir serves as a reminder of the power of resilience, authenticity, and the pursuit of personal happiness.

Conclusion

In "I Am Not Myself These Days", Josh Kilmer-Purcell invites readers to join him on a rollercoaster ride through the highs and lows of his unconventional life. With its vivid storytelling and exploration of themes such as identity, love, and addiction, this memoir is a compelling and thought-provoking read. Kilmer-Purcell's unapologetic honesty and humor make "I Am Not Myself These Days" a must-read for anyone seeking a captivating and insightful glimpse into the human experience.