Estimated read time: 6 min read
One Sentence Summary
A family navigates the challenges and joys of raising a transgender child.
Table of Contents
Introduction
"This Is How It Always Is" by Laurie Frankel is a heartwarming and thought-provoking novel that delves into the complexities of family, identity, and the challenges of raising a transgender child. Tackling the themes of unconditional love, acceptance, and the struggle for truth, the story takes readers on an emotional journey that explores the intricacies of modern family dynamics and the impact of secrets on the people we love.
Brief Synopsis
The novel is set in contemporary America and revolves around the lives of the Walsh-Adams family. Rosie and Penn are the parents of five boys: Roo, Ben, Rigel, Orion, and Claude. The youngest of the five, Claude, is different from his brothers in a fundamental way – he wants to be a girl when he grows up. As the family navigates the challenges of raising a transgender child, they are faced with difficult decisions, moral dilemmas, and the need to protect their child from a society that may not understand or accept their choices.
Main Characters
The Walsh-Adams family is at the heart of the novel, and its members are intricately woven into the fabric of the story.
| Character | Description |
|---|---|
| Rosie | A doctor and the mother of the Walsh-Adams family. She is fiercely protective of her children and struggles to find the balance between supporting Claude's identity and shielding her child from the judgment of the outside world. |
| Penn | A writer and the father of the family. Penn is empathetic and devoted to his children. He grapples with his own uncertainties about how best to support Claude's transition while shielding the family from unwanted attention. |
| Roo | The eldest son, who is protective and caring toward Claude. |
| Ben | The second eldest son, who is intelligent and thoughtful. |
| Rigel | The third son, who is imaginative and perceptive. |
| Orion | The fourth son, who is outgoing and adventurous. |
| Claude/Poppy | The youngest child, who is born as Claude but identifies as a girl named Poppy. Claude's journey and the impact on the family form the crux of the novel. |
Summary of Different Story Points Over Chapters
Chapters 1-5
The novel opens with the Walsh-Adams family relocating from Wisconsin to Seattle. Rosie, a doctor, and Penn, a writer, are raising their five sons. Claude, the youngest, expresses a desire to be a girl, and this revelation sets the stage for the family's journey. The parents grapple with how best to support Claude while protecting her from the judgment and prejudice of the outside world.
Chapters 6-10
As Claude grows older, the family faces the challenges of navigating her transition in a society that often lacks understanding and empathy. Rosie and Penn make the difficult decision to allow Claude to live as a girl named Poppy, but they struggle with how to handle the complexities and potential repercussions of this choice.
Chapters 11-15
The family's move to Thailand provides a fresh start for Poppy, who can live openly as her true self. However, this new beginning brings its own set of challenges, and the family must confront the realities of discrimination, the complexities of gender identity, and the impact of their choices on their other children.
Chapters 16-20
As Poppy grows older, the family faces a pivotal moment when her privacy is violated, and their secret is at risk of being exposed. The parents grapple with the fear of how society will react, the impact on their other children, and the need to protect Poppy's right to self-identify.
Main Events
- The family's relocation to Seattle
- Claude's expression of a desire to be a girl
- The decision to allow Claude to live as Poppy
- The move to Thailand for a fresh start
- The violation of Poppy's privacy and the risk of exposure
- The family's efforts to navigate the challenges of raising a transgender child in a society that often lacks understanding and acceptance
Themes and Insights
Unconditional Love and Acceptance
The novel delves into the complexities of familial love and acceptance, highlighting the lengths to which parents will go to protect and support their children, regardless of societal norms or expectations.
Gender Identity and Self-Expression
Laurie Frankel skillfully explores the intricacies of gender identity and the importance of allowing individuals to express their true selves, while also addressing the challenges and prejudices that come with living authentically in a society that may not understand or accept non-conformity.
Family Dynamics and Moral Dilemmas
The story delves into the intricacies of modern family dynamics, portraying the complexities of making difficult decisions that impact the entire family, and the moral dilemmas that arise when weighing the well-being of one child against the needs of the whole family.
Reader's Takeaway
"This Is How It Always Is" offers readers a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of the complexities of family, identity, and the challenges of raising a transgender child. It prompts reflection on the power of unconditional love, the importance of acceptance, and the impact of societal norms on individual self-expression. The novel leaves readers with a deep appreciation for the resilience of the human spirit and the unbreakable bond of family.
Conclusion
Laurie Frankel's "This Is How It Always Is" is a compelling and emotionally resonant novel that tackles important and timely themes with sensitivity and insight. Through the Walsh-Adams family's journey, the story invites readers to consider the power of love, the complexities of identity, and the profound impact of acceptance and understanding in today's world.
This Is How It Always Is FAQ
What is 'This Is How It Always Is' about?
This novel by Laurie Frankel is about a family whose youngest child, Claude, wants to be a girl when he grows up. The book explores the challenges and joys of raising a transgender child, as well as the impact on the entire family.
Is 'This Is How It Always Is' based on a true story?
While the novel is a work of fiction, it is inspired by the author's own experiences raising a transgender child. Laurie Frankel drew from her personal journey to bring authenticity to the story.
What themes are explored in 'This Is How It Always Is'?
The book delves into themes such as identity, family dynamics, acceptance, and the complexities of gender. It also examines the challenges of keeping secrets and the impact of societal norms on individual choices.
Who would enjoy reading 'This Is How It Always Is'?
This novel would appeal to readers interested in contemporary family dramas, LGBTQ+ themes, and thought-provoking explorations of identity. It may also resonate with those who appreciate heartfelt storytelling and rich character development.
Does 'This Is How It Always Is' offer a hopeful message?
Yes, the book carries a message of hope and resilience. While it portrays the difficulties faced by the family, it also emphasizes the power of love, understanding, and the strength of familial bonds.





