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This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen, book cover

This Lullaby Summary

by Sarah Dessen

4.02 Goodreads · 171k ratingsYoung Adult345 pages12-min summary

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By BookBrief EditorialPublished March 2026How we write summaries

Synopsis

Covers the whole plot, including the ending.

Remy, a cynical teenager with a jaded view on love due to her mother's four failed marriages, has a strict 'no serious relationships' policy. She is preparing to leave for college and is focused on tying up loose ends, including a summer job. However, her carefully constructed world is disrupted when she meets Dexter, a quirky and persistent musician who is the complete opposite of her usual type. Despite her best efforts to keep him at arm's length and stick to her rules, Dexter's unwavering optimism and genuine charm slowly begin to chip away at Remy's defenses. As their summer romance unfolds, Remy is forced to confront her preconceived notions about love and commitment, questioning whether she can truly open herself up to a relationship that might defy all her expectations.
Difficulty
Easy
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Sweet, reflective, romantic, humorous, slightly melancholic.

This Lullaby Plot Summary

Covers the whole plot, including the ending.

  1. The Summer Before College

    Remy, a pragmatic and cynical high school graduate, spends her last summer in Lakeview before moving to California for college. Her life is complicated by her mother, Barbara, a successful romance novelist who is about to marry for the fifth time. Remy, having seen her mother's many failed marriages, has a jaded view of love and relationships, preferring casual flings. She works at a local used furniture store, planning to earn money and avoid emotional ties. Her younger brother, Chris, is obsessed with their absent biological father, a musician named Danny McCarty, who wrote a famous lullaby for Remy.

  2. A Chance Encounter with Dexter

    While delivering a table for her mother's wedding reception, Remy meets Dexter, a charmingly awkward and persistent musician. He immediately takes an interest in her, despite her obvious disinterest and attempts to brush him off. Dexter is in a band and works various odd jobs to support his musical dreams. He is unfazed by Remy's cool demeanor and sarcastic remarks, continuously trying to engage her in conversation and make her laugh. Remy finds him irritating but also intriguing, a stark contrast to the emotionally detached relationships she usually pursues.

  3. Dexter's Persistent Pursuit

    Dexter starts showing up wherever Remy is, whether at her workplace or around town. He always has a witty comment, a silly joke, or a genuine compliment. He learns about her favorite snacks and brings them to her. Remy, despite trying to maintain her emotional distance, gradually lets her guard down. She is not used to such earnest affection, and while it initially makes her uncomfortable, Dexter's sincerity starts to appeal to a part of her she thought was dormant. She begins to question her rigid rules about relationships.

  4. The Band and the Lullaby

    Remy starts spending more time with Dexter and his bandmates, eventually attending their practices and gigs. She sees a different side of Dexter — passionate, dedicated, and talented. She also learns that Dexter's band is looking for a new song, and he suggests writing one inspired by her. This brings up her own complicated feelings about music, specifically the famous lullaby written for her by her biological father, Danny McCarty, who left her family when she was young. Chris, her brother, is obsessed with their father's music, and Remy finds herself confronting her own unresolved feelings.

  5. Remy's Rules and Dexter's Challenge

    Remy attempts to define her relationship with Dexter according to her rules: no serious commitment, no emotional investment, and a clear end date before she leaves for California. She tries to keep him at arm's length, fearing the pain and disappointment she's witnessed in her mother's life. However, Dexter's genuine affection, unwavering optimism, and refusal to play by her rules make it increasingly difficult for Remy to maintain her emotional barriers. He sees through her cynicism and tries to show her that love doesn't have to be a source of inevitable heartbreak.

  6. A Summer of Firsts

    Throughout the summer, Remy and Dexter's relationship deepens. They share intimate moments, explore their town, and support each other through personal struggles. Remy finds herself experiencing emotions she thought she was immune to, including genuine happiness and vulnerability. She begins to confide in Dexter about her anxieties regarding college and her complicated family history. Dexter, in turn, shares his own dreams and insecurities about his music career. Their connection becomes undeniable, making Remy increasingly anxious about her impending departure for California and the unspoken question of their future.

  7. The Confrontation and the Lullaby's Meaning

    Chris's continued obsession with their father, Danny McCarty, forces Remy to confront her own feelings about him and the famous lullaby he wrote for her. She has always viewed the song as a symbol of abandonment, but Dexter helps her see it from a different perspective. He encourages her to appreciate the beauty and love in the song, rather than focusing solely on the pain of her father's absence. This shift in perspective allows Remy to begin healing old wounds and re-evaluating her cynical outlook on love and commitment, realizing that even complicated love can hold beauty.

  8. The Inevitable Goodbye

    As the summer draws to a close, Remy's departure for California looms. She and Dexter must confront what their relationship means and if it can survive the distance. Remy, still grappling with her fears of heartbreak, struggles with the idea of a long-distance relationship. Dexter, ever the optimist, tries to reassure her, but the uncertainty is clear. The impending separation tests their bond and forces Remy to decide whether to embrace the risk of love or retreat into her familiar emotional detachment.

  9. A Difficult Decision

    On the day of her departure, Remy is torn. She experiences a deep internal conflict between her long-held beliefs about love and the connection she has formed with Dexter. She has to decide whether to follow her carefully laid plans for a detached future or to take a leap of faith into an uncertain but potentially fulfilling relationship. The decision is painful, highlighting her growth throughout the summer and Dexter's impact on her worldview. She grapples with the fear of being hurt versus the fear of missing out on something truly special.

  10. A New Beginning

    Remy ultimately decides to take a chance on love. While she still leaves for college in California, she and Dexter commit to trying a long-distance relationship. This decision is a significant turning point for Remy, showing her willingness to embrace vulnerability and the potential for heartbreak in exchange for genuine connection. She departs with a newfound hope and a more open heart, realizing that love isn't always perfect or easy, but it is worth the risk. Her journey to California now feels like a beginning, not just an escape.

Principal Figures

Remy Starr

Protagonist

A jaded high school graduate with a cynical view of love.

Remy is sharp-witted, intelligent, and fiercely independent. Having witnessed her mother's four failed marriages, she has developed a deep-seated cynicism towards romantic love, preferring casual relationships with clear end dates. She is pragmatic and organized, with a clear plan for her future in California. Beneath her tough exterior, however, lies a vulnerable young woman who fears abandonment and heartbreak. She uses sarcasm and emotional distance as defense mechanisms.

Relationships: Dexter (Romantic interest); Barbara Starr (Mother); Chris Starr (Younger brother); Lissa (Best friend)

Dexter

Supporting

An optimistic and persistent musician who challenges Remy's worldview.

Dexter is an endearing, slightly clumsy, and relentlessly optimistic musician. He possesses an unwavering belief in love and the good in people, a stark contrast to Remy's cynicism. He is persistent in his pursuit of Remy, undeterred by her initial coldness, and sees past her defenses to the person beneath. He is passionate about his music and his band, and his earnestness is a key factor in breaking down Remy's emotional walls. He embodies a hopeful and genuine approach to relationships.

Relationships: Remy Starr (Romantic interest); Jessie (Bandmate/Friend); Ted (Bandmate/Friend)

Barbara Starr

Supporting

Remy's romance novelist mother, constantly seeking love.

Barbara is Remy's mother, a successful romance novelist who is perpetually falling in love and marrying. She is on her fifth marriage as the story begins. Barbara is loving but somewhat flighty, often caught up in the romance of her current relationship. Her repeated marital failures are the primary reason for Remy's cynical outlook on love. Despite her own romantic follies, she genuinely cares for her children and offers them support, even if her advice often contradicts her own actions.

Relationships: Remy Starr (Daughter); Chris Starr (Son); Danny McCarty (Ex-husband (Remy and Chris's biological father))

Chris Starr

Supporting

Remy's younger brother, obsessed with their absent musician father.

Chris is Remy's younger brother, a sweet and somewhat naive boy. He is deeply fascinated by their biological father, Danny McCarty, a famous musician who wrote the lullaby for Remy before leaving the family. Chris idealizes his father and his music, often listening to his songs and asking Remy about him. His innocent curiosity and longing for their father inadvertently force Remy to confront her own unresolved feelings about their past and the meaning of the lullaby, contributing to her emotional journey.

Relationships: Remy Starr (Sister); Barbara Starr (Mother); Danny McCarty (Biological father)

Lissa

Supporting

Remy's practical and supportive best friend.

Lissa is Remy's best friend, a practical and grounded individual who often serves as a sounding board for Remy's relationship woes. She is observant and offers common-sense advice, sometimes gently challenging Remy's cynicism but always remaining supportive. Lissa represents a more balanced perspective on love and relationships, having her own stable, long-term boyfriend. She provides a sense of normalcy and friendship amidst Remy's emotional turmoil, offering a different model of a successful relationship.

Relationships: Remy Starr (Best friend); Jessie (Romantic interest (Lissa's boyfriend))

Jessie

Supporting

Lissa's boyfriend and Dexter's bandmate.

Jessie is Lissa's long-term boyfriend and a member of Dexter's band. He is reliable and good-natured, providing a stable presence in Lissa's life and a contrast to the often chaotic romantic lives of others. He is a supportive friend to Dexter and a familiar face within Remy's expanded social circle. His steady relationship with Lissa offers Remy another example of a functioning, albeit less dramatic, partnership, subtly influencing Remy's understanding of different forms of love.

Relationships: Lissa (Romantic interest); Dexter (Bandmate/Friend)

Ted

Supporting

Dexter's other bandmate.

Ted is the third member of Dexter's band. He is often the most cynical and sarcastic of the group, providing comedic relief and sometimes a foil to Dexter's relentless optimism. Despite his sometimes gruff exterior, he is loyal to his bandmates and contributes to the overall dynamic of their group. His presence adds another layer to the friendships and interactions surrounding Remy and Dexter's developing relationship.

Relationships: Dexter (Bandmate/Friend); Jessie (Bandmate/Friend)

Danny McCarty

Supporting

Remy and Chris's absent musician father.

Danny McCarty is Remy and Chris's biological father, a famous musician who wrote the well-known lullaby for Remy. He left the family when Remy was young, leading to her feelings of abandonment and shaping her cynical view of love. He is a largely absent figure in the present narrative, but his legacy, particularly through the lullaby, plays a crucial role in Remy's emotional journey and her eventual re-evaluation of her past. He represents the complex and sometimes painful aspects of love and family.

Relationships: Remy Starr (Daughter); Chris Starr (Son); Barbara Starr (Ex-wife)

Themes & Insights

The Nature of Love and Commitment

This theme explores different facets of love, from Remy's initial cynical, no-strings-attached approach to Dexter's earnest, hopeful commitment. It questions whether love is inherently doomed to fail, as Remy's mother's history suggests, or if it's a risk worth taking. The narrative argues for the latter, suggesting that true love requires vulnerability and a willingness to navigate imperfections and uncertainty, rather than seeking a perfect, idealized version.

“Maybe it was that you had to be the kind of person who could see it. Who could see love in a world where there was so much that was unlovely.”
Narrator

Overcoming Cynicism and Fear of Vulnerability

Remy's journey is a central exploration of overcoming deep-seated cynicism and a fear of emotional vulnerability. Her past experiences, particularly her mother's multiple marriages and her father's abandonment, have led her to believe that love inevitably leads to pain. The story details her process of gradually letting down her guard, learning to trust, and accepting the risk of heartbreak as a necessary component of genuine connection. It highlights the courage required to open oneself up to love after being hurt.

“It was like she had these walls up, and I was just trying to find a way in. And then one day, I just found a door.”
Dexter

Family Influence and Breaking Cycles

The novel explores how family history influences an individual's worldview, particularly Remy's relationship with her mother and absent father. Remy's cynicism is a direct response to her mother's romantic history, and her struggle to accept love is tied to her father's abandonment. The theme explores the challenge of breaking inherited emotional cycles and forging one's own path, rather than repeating the perceived mistakes or adopting the defensive mechanisms of previous generations. It emphasizes the journey of understanding and forgiving the past to build a healthier future.

“I mean, my mom’s been married, what, five times? I’ve seen enough to know how this usually ends.”
Remy Starr

The Power of Music and Art

Music is a powerful thematic element, representing connection, emotion, and legacy. The famous lullaby written by Remy's father is a central motif, initially symbolizing abandonment but gradually transforming into a symbol of enduring love and memory. Dexter's passion for music and his songwriting process further emphasize how art can be a means of expressing deep feelings, healing wounds, and forming bonds. The theme suggests that art, particularly music, has a unique ability to transcend time and emotional barriers, offering comfort and understanding.

“Some songs were just that way. They got into your system, they became a part of you. And you never really knew why, or how, until it was too late.”
Narrator

Plot Devices & Literary Techniques

The Lullaby

A famous song that symbolizes Remy's past and emotional journey.

The lullaby, written by Remy's biological father, Danny McCarty, serves as a central symbol throughout the novel. Initially, it represents abandonment and the pain of her father's absence, contributing to Remy's cynical view of love. As the story progresses, and with Dexter's influence, Remy's perception of the song evolves. It transforms into a symbol of enduring love, memory, and the complex nature of family relationships, ultimately helping Remy to reconcile with her past and embrace a more hopeful future. Its presence underscores the theme of art's power to evoke and heal emotions.

Remy's 'Rules'

A set of self-imposed guidelines for relationships that define Remy's emotional barriers.

Remy's 'rules' for relationships—no serious commitment, no emotional investment, and a clear end date—are a coping mechanism developed from observing her mother's failed marriages. This plot device highlights her fear of vulnerability and heartbreak. Dexter's continuous challenge to these rules drives much of the narrative conflict and character development. As Remy's feelings for Dexter deepen, her struggle to adhere to these rules demonstrates her internal battle between her learned cynicism and her burgeoning desire for genuine connection, ultimately leading to her emotional growth.

The Summer Timeline

A defined period of time that creates urgency and a sense of impending change.

The story is set during Remy's last summer before moving to California for college. This fixed timeline creates a sense of urgency and serves as a natural endpoint for her current life phase and her relationship with Dexter. The impending separation forces Remy to confront her feelings and make difficult decisions about her future. This device heightens the emotional stakes, making Remy's journey of self-discovery and her choice about love more poignant as she races against the clock of her departure.

First-Person Narration (Remy's Perspective)

The story is told entirely from Remy's internal, subjective viewpoint.

The novel is narrated in the first person by Remy, providing direct access to her cynical thoughts, internal conflicts, and emotional evolution. This perspective allows readers to deeply understand her guarded nature, her fears, and the reasons behind her skepticism about love. It makes her eventual softening and acceptance of vulnerability more impactful, as readers witness her transformation from the inside. The subjective narration also emphasizes her journey of re-evaluating her own beliefs and perceptions, making her growth feel authentic and earned.

Quiz

10 questions on the plot and the characters. Each answer comes with a short explanation.

  1. Question 1

    What is the main character's name in 'This Lullaby'?

    1. Dexter
    2. Remy
    3. Sarah
    4. Lullaby
    Show answer

    B. Remy The summary explicitly states, 'Remy doesn't mess around.'

  2. Question 2

    What is Remy's mother currently working on?

    1. Her fifth marriage
    2. Her fifth book
    3. Her fifth job
    4. Her fifth child
    Show answer

    A. Her fifth marriage The text mentions her mother 'working on husband number five.'

  3. Question 3

    What does Remy initially think about Dexter?

    1. He is Mr. Right
    2. He is a good listener
    3. He defies all her rules
    4. He is exactly like her mother's partners
    Show answer

    C. He defies all her rules The summary states, 'He certainly doesn't seem like Mr. Right. For some reason, however, Remy just can't seem to shake him.' This implies he goes against her usual expectations.

  4. Question 4

    What is the genre of the book 'This Lullaby'?

    1. Mystery
    2. Fantasy
    3. Young Adult Romance
    4. Historical Fiction
    Show answer

    C. Young Adult Romance The provided information explicitly states the genre is 'Young Adult, Romance.'

  5. Question 5

    Why does Remy have a cynical view on relationships?

    1. She has been hurt too many times.
    2. Her mother's multiple marriages have influenced her.
    3. She is afraid of commitment.
    4. She believes in love at first sight.
    Show answer

    B. Her mother's multiple marriages have influenced her. The text states, 'After all, she's learned all there is to know from her mother, who's currently working on husband number five.' This implies her mother's experiences have shaped her views.

  6. Question 6

    What does the phrase 'defy all of Remy's rules' suggest about Dexter?

    1. He is a rule-breaker in general.
    2. He doesn't fit Remy's typical type for a partner.
    3. He is intentionally trying to annoy Remy.
    4. He is a very disciplined person.
    Show answer

    B. He doesn't fit Remy's typical type for a partner. Remy's perspective is that she has 'rules' for relationships. If Dexter 'defies all of Remy's rules,' it means he doesn't fit the criteria she usually looks for in a partner.

  7. Question 7

    What is the internal conflict Remy is facing?

    1. Whether to pursue a career or a relationship.
    2. Whether to trust her mother's advice or her own feelings.
    3. Whether to follow her established relationship rules or her attraction to Dexter.
    4. Whether to stay in her hometown or move away.
    Show answer

    C. Whether to follow her established relationship rules or her attraction to Dexter. Remy has 'rules' for relationships based on her mother's experiences. However, she is attracted to Dexter, who 'defies all of Remy's rules.' Her conflict is between her learned skepticism and her emerging feelings.

  8. Question 8

    What does the ending of the summary suggest about Remy's potential feelings?

    1. She is determined to avoid Dexter.
    2. She is starting to understand the nature of love songs.
    3. She is planning to break up with Dexter.
    4. She is angry with Dexter.
    Show answer

    B. She is starting to understand the nature of love songs. The question 'Could it be that Remy's starting to understand what those love songs are all about?' directly implies she is beginning to experience romantic feelings, similar to what is depicted in love songs.

  9. Question 9

    The reference to 'husband number five' is an example of what literary device?

    1. Metaphor
    2. Simile
    3. Foreshadowing
    4. Characterization
    Show answer

    D. Characterization Mentioning 'husband number five' is a way to reveal information about the mother's history and personality, which is a key aspect of characterization.

  10. Question 10

    What is the underlying theme suggested by Remy's internal struggle?

    1. The importance of independence.
    2. The conflict between learned cynicism and genuine emotion.
    3. The challenges of long-distance relationships.
    4. The benefits of following parental advice.
    Show answer

    B. The conflict between learned cynicism and genuine emotion. Remy has learned to be cynical about relationships due to her mother's experiences. Her attraction to Dexter, who doesn't fit her 'rules,' forces her to confront the possibility that her learned cynicism might be preventing her from experiencing genuine emotion and love.

This Lullaby FAQ

What is the plot of "This Lullaby"?

"This Lullaby" follows Remy, a young woman who is cynical about relationships due to her mother's multiple marriages. Her views are challenged when she meets Dexter, a boy who doesn't fit her usual type, and she finds herself unexpectedly drawn to him.

Who is the main character in "This Lullaby"?

The main character is Remy, a high school student who is wary of romance and relationships. She is influenced by her mother's experiences with marriage.

What are the main themes in "This Lullaby"?

The main themes revolve around love, relationships, family influence on personal beliefs, and learning to trust one's own judgment in romance despite past experiences.

Is "This Lullaby" a typical Sarah Dessen novel?

Yes, "This Lullaby" is a classic Sarah Dessen novel, featuring a relatable teenage protagonist, themes of romance and self-discovery, and a focus on family dynamics.

What kind of relationship does Remy have with her mother?

Remy has a complicated relationship with her mother, who has been married multiple times. This has led Remy to be skeptical about love and long-term relationships.

Does Remy believe in love at first sight?

Given her mother's history, Remy is very skeptical about love and doesn't believe in easy or instant connections. She approaches relationships with caution and rules.

Who is Dexter in "This Lullaby"?

Dexter is the male protagonist who catches Remy's attention despite not fitting her usual criteria for a partner. He is a character who challenges Remy's preconceived notions about relationships.

What is the age group for "This Lullaby"?

"This Lullaby" is a Young Adult (YA) novel, typically aimed at readers aged 14 and up, dealing with themes and experiences relevant to teenagers.

Where can I buy "This Lullaby"?

"This Lullaby" by Sarah Dessen is available at most major bookstores, online retailers like Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and can often be found at local libraries.

What is Remy's profession or hobby?

Remy works as a music camp counselor during the summer, which is where she meets Dexter. She also has a passion for music.

About the author

Sarah Dessen

Sarah Dessen

Sarah Dessen is an American author known for her young adult fiction that often explores themes of love, friendship, and personal growth. Some of her notable works include Just Listen, The Truth About Forever, Along for the Ride, This Lullaby, Lock and Key, and Keeping the Moon. Dessen's writing has garnered a dedicated readership and has been recognized for its relatable characters and emotional depth.

All 11 summaries of Sarah Dessen's books →

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