Synopsis
Covers the whole plot, including the ending.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Pacing
- Moderate
- Mood
- Heartwarming, Poignant, Honest, Emotional
- Read it if
- You enjoy emotionally resonant young adult romance with complex characters facing significant personal challenges.
- Skip it if
- You prefer lighthearted stories without exploration of disability or mental health struggles.
Say What You Will Plot Summary
Covers the whole plot, including the ending.
A New Senior Year Plan
Amy Nelson, a high school senior with severe cerebral palsy, wants a more independent and socially integrated final year. Unable to walk without a walker, speak without a voice box, or control her movements and expressions, she relies heavily on her family. After a bad experience with a professional aide who treated her like a child, Amy decides to hire fellow students as aides. Her mother, Mrs. Nelson, is skeptical but supports Amy's desire for independence. Amy posts flyers around Coral Hills High School, hoping to find students who will treat her as an equal.
Matthew's Unexpected Application
Matthew Calhoun, a quiet and intelligent student, applies for the aide position. Matthew struggles with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which causes repeated thoughts, elaborate rituals, and anxiety, especially in social interactions. He likes the job because it offers a structured, predictable environment, and he thinks Amy's physical limitations might make her less demanding of social graces. During the interview, Matthew's meticulousness and directness impress Amy, who is tired of pity. Despite his awkwardness, Amy feels a surprising connection and hires him, to her mother's surprise.
Navigating the First Weeks
Their working relationship begins with a learning curve. Matthew struggles to understand Amy's synthesized voice and non-verbal cues. He is meticulous about his duties, such as pushing her wheelchair and carrying her books, but often misses the social nuances Amy desires. Amy, frustrated by his literal interpretations and lack of conversation, initially questions her decision. However, Matthew's steady presence and willingness to patiently wait for her to formulate thoughts begin to break down Amy's guardedness. She starts to appreciate his reliability and the quiet comfort of his presence.
A Shared Vulnerability
One day, Amy sees Matthew performing a complex ritual involving counting and touching objects, realizing it is more than just quirks. She confronts him gently, and Matthew, in a rare moment of vulnerability, explains his OCD. He describes the intrusive thoughts and the need to perform rituals to prevent perceived catastrophes. This revelation changes their dynamic. Amy understands his earlier social awkwardness and need for routine. Matthew, in turn, sees Amy's struggle for control over her body as similar to his own battle for control over his mind, creating a mutual empathy that deepens their connection.
Breaking Social Barriers
With Matthew's help, Amy begins to participate in school life beyond academics. He meticulously plans their routes through crowded hallways, ensuring she can navigate safely. He becomes her silent, steady companion at school events, allowing her to observe and occasionally interact with other students. While Matthew is still socially anxious, his presence gives Amy the confidence to be more social. He helps her attend a school play and even a football game, pushing her past her comfort zone and allowing her to feel more like a typical teenager, something she deeply wants.
The Prom Dilemma
As prom season approaches, Amy wants to attend. She has always felt excluded from such milestones. Matthew, despite his own social anxieties, recognizes its importance for her. He helps her pick out a dress and navigate the logistical challenges. However, Amy's hopes for a romantic or even just a socially fulfilling experience at prom are dashed. She feels isolated and observed, rather than truly included, and Matthew's attempts to comfort her are well-intentioned but limited by his own struggles. The experience is bittersweet, showing both their growing bond and the persistent challenges they face.
A Summer Apart
After graduation, Amy and Matthew are separated for the summer. Amy, feeling more independent and empowered, explores her future, including potential colleges and new interests. Matthew, meanwhile, confronts his OCD more directly, seeking therapy and working on managing his compulsions without Amy's daily structure. The separation is difficult for both, as they have become integral parts of each other's routines and support systems. They communicate through letters and occasional calls, revealing how deeply they miss their unique connection and the comfort they found in each other's presence.
Reunion and Shifting Dynamics
When they reunite, their dynamic has shifted. Amy is more assertive and aware of her own desires, while Matthew has gained some control over his OCD, though it is an ongoing battle. Their friendship deepens into something more, as they acknowledge their feelings for each other. However, their physical limitations and psychological struggles present unique challenges to a conventional romantic relationship. They navigate the complexities of intimacy, communication, and societal expectations, realizing their connection goes beyond typical definitions of romance. They find comfort and understanding in their shared vulnerabilities.
The College Decision
Amy is accepted into a college program that offers good support for students with disabilities, but it is some distance away. Matthew, still dealing with his OCD, considers staying closer to home for his own treatment and stability. This decision creates tension, as they both want to be together but also need to prioritize their individual growth and well-being. They have difficult conversations about their future, acknowledging the practical challenges and the importance of supporting each other's personal journeys, even if it means temporary separation.
Finding Their Own Way
Ultimately, Amy and Matthew decide to pursue their individual paths while committing to their relationship. They understand that their love story won't look like everyone else's, but it is no less valid. Amy moves to college, embracing her newfound independence, and Matthew continues his therapy, making progress in managing his OCD. They maintain their deep connection through regular communication, visits, and a shared understanding that their love is built on acceptance, empathy, and appreciation for each other's unique selves. They find strength in their unconventional bond.
Say What You Will Characters
Amy Nelson
Protagonist
A determined high school senior with cerebral palsy.
Amy is intelligent, witty, and fiercely independent, despite being severely affected by cerebral palsy, which limits her physical movement, speech, and facial expressions. She uses a voice box to communicate and a walker or wheelchair for mobility. She yearns for connection and to be seen beyond her disability, often feeling frustrated by others' pity or lack of understanding. Her inner world is rich, and she possesses a sharp observational wit, though expressing it is a constant challenge. She is driven by a desire for autonomy and authentic relationships.
Relationships: Matthew Calhoun (Student aide, then best friend, then boyfriend. Deeply empathetic and understanding, forming a unique bond.); Mrs. Nelson (Amy's Mother) (Supportive but sometimes overprotective, struggling to balance Amy's independence with her safety.); Mr. Nelson (Amy's Father) (Supportive and loving, often a quieter presence than Mrs. Nelson.)
Matthew Calhoun
Protagonist
A meticulous and anxious student with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Matthew is highly intelligent, methodical, and possesses a strong moral compass, but he is severely hampered by obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). His life is dominated by intrusive thoughts, elaborate rituals, and crippling anxiety, especially in social situations. He struggles with eye contact, small talk, and interpreting social cues, preferring predictable routines and factual interactions. Despite his internal turmoil, he is deeply kind, loyal, and possesses a remarkable capacity for empathy once he feels safe enough to express it. He seeks order and control in a world that often feels chaotic to him.
Relationships: Amy Nelson (Employer, then best friend, then boyfriend. His bond with her helps him understand himself and connect with the world.); Matthew's Parents (Supportive but often bewildered by his OCD, trying their best to help him navigate his challenges.)
Mrs. Nelson
Supporting
Amy's loving but often overprotective mother.
Mrs. Nelson is a devoted mother who has dedicated her life to caring for Amy. She is fiercely protective, often anticipating Amy's needs and speaking for her. While her intentions are always good, her overprotectiveness can sometimes stifle Amy's desire for independence. She is initially wary of Amy's plan to hire student aides, especially Matthew, but she ultimately supports Amy's choices, albeit with a mother's constant worry. She learns to trust Amy's judgment and her ability to navigate the world.
Relationships: Amy Nelson (Mother-daughter; deeply loving but sometimes strained by Amy's desire for independence.); Mr. Nelson (Husband; a stable, supportive partner in raising Amy.)
Mr. Nelson
Supporting
Amy's supportive and understanding father.
Mr. Nelson is Amy's calm and steady father. He is less outwardly anxious than Mrs. Nelson and often acts as a quiet anchor for the family. He is supportive of Amy's desire for independence and generally trusts her judgment, often offering a more measured perspective than his wife. He loves Amy deeply and shows his affection through quiet support and practical help, sometimes mediating between Amy and her mother.
Relationships: Amy Nelson (Father-daughter; loving and supportive, often understanding Amy's desire for autonomy.); Mrs. Nelson (Wife; a supportive partner in raising Amy.)
Sarah
Supporting
One of Amy's other student aides.
Sarah is one of the other student aides Amy hires. She is generally kind and well-meaning but lacks the profound understanding and connection that Matthew develops with Amy. She represents the typical, sometimes superficial, interactions Amy experiences with peers who are unsure how to relate to her disability. Sarah tries to be helpful but often misses the deeper emotional cues or treats Amy with a degree of pity, which Amy finds frustrating.
Relationships: Amy Nelson (Student aide; a friendly but less deeply connected relationship.)
Say What You Will Themes
The Search for Autonomy and Independence
This theme is central to Amy's journey. Despite her severe physical limitations, Amy wants to control her own life, make her own choices, and be seen as an individual, not just her disability. Her decision to hire student aides, rather than professional ones, shows this. She pushes against her mother's well-meaning but stifling overprotectiveness, as seen when she insists on attending prom or choosing her college. Her relationship with Matthew, who respects her agency and helps her navigate the world on her own terms, empowers her to achieve independence she previously thought impossible.
“I wanted to be seen. Not just my chair, not just my voice box, but me.”
Finding Connection Through Shared Vulnerability
The novel shows how true connection often comes from acknowledging and accepting one's vulnerabilities. Both Amy and Matthew carry significant burdens – Amy's physical disability and Matthew's OCD – that isolate them from their peers. Only when Matthew reveals his OCD to Amy, and Amy in turn shares her frustrations and desires with him, does their bond deepen. They recognize in each other a similar struggle to navigate a world not designed for them. This shared understanding allows them to see past their respective 'faults' and appreciate each other's inherent worth, forming a relationship built on empathy and mutual acceptance.
“We were both broken, in our own ways. And maybe that’s why we fit together.”
Redefining Love and Relationships
The book challenges conventional notions of romance and relationships. Amy and Matthew's love story is unconventional, shaped by their unique challenges. Their intimacy is not primarily physical but intellectual, emotional, and deeply empathetic. They communicate through patience, observation, and a deep understanding of each other's struggles. The novel suggests that love does not always conform to societal expectations or perfect appearances. Their relationship shows that true love is about seeing, accepting, and cherishing another person for exactly who they are, disabilities and all, and supporting their individual growth.
“It wasn’t a love that looked like anyone else’s, but it was ours.”
The Power of Communication and Interpretation
Communication is a significant theme, both as a challenge and a bridge. Amy's reliance on a voice box and her limited facial expressions mean that others often misinterpret or dismiss her. Matthew, with his literal interpretations and social anxieties, initially struggles to understand her. However, their developing relationship forces them to learn new ways of communicating – through patience, observation, and a deep desire to understand. Matthew learns to read Amy's subtle cues, and Amy learns to articulate her needs more clearly. Their journey shows how effective communication goes beyond spoken words, requiring empathy and a willingness to truly listen and interpret.
“Sometimes, the most important words weren’t spoken at all.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
First-Person Dual Perspective
Alternating chapters narrated by Amy and Matthew.
The novel is told through alternating first-person perspectives, with chapters from both Amy's and Matthew's viewpoints. This device is crucial for providing deep insight into their internal worlds. Amy's chapters reveal her intelligence, wit, and frustration, often contrasting with how others perceive her. Matthew's chapters expose his intricate OCD rituals, anxieties, and the logical yet often misunderstood workings of his mind. This dual perspective allows readers to understand their individual struggles and the profound empathy that develops between them, highlighting the disconnect between internal experience and external presentation.
The Voice Box
Amy's electronic speech device.
Amy's voice box serves as a powerful symbol and a practical plot device. Symbolically, it represents her struggle for voice and agency in a world that often silences or misunderstands her. Practically, it dictates the pace of her communication, forcing others (especially Matthew) to slow down, listen intently, and truly process her words. It highlights the challenges of effective communication and the patience required to bridge gaps. The voice box also underscores Amy's determination to communicate on her own terms, rather than relying on others to speak for her.
Matthew's OCD Rituals
Detailed descriptions of Matthew's compulsive behaviors.
The detailed descriptions of Matthew's OCD rituals (counting, touching, checking) serve several purposes. They vividly illustrate the severity of his condition and the internal torment he experiences, making his character more understandable and sympathetic. They also act as a barrier to his social interactions, explaining his initial awkwardness and isolation. Critically, the rituals become a point of connection for Amy when she observes and eventually understands them, leading to a deeper empathy between them. They are a tangible representation of his internal struggle for control and predictability.
The School Environment
High school as a microcosm for social challenges.
The high school setting acts as a microcosm for the social challenges Amy and Matthew face. It's a place where social norms, peer pressure, and the desire for acceptance are amplified. For Amy, it's a battleground for independence and inclusion. For Matthew, it's a source of immense anxiety and a place where his OCD is constantly triggered. The school provides a structured backdrop against which their personal growth and the development of their unconventional relationship are highlighted, showcasing their efforts to navigate a 'normal' environment despite their extraordinary circumstances.
Say What You Will Quotes
“I may not be able to talk, but I can still tell you exactly what I think.”
“It’s amazing how much you can understand when you really try to listen, not just with your ears.”
“Sometimes the things you can’t say are the most important ones.”
“He didn't try to fix me. He just tried to understand me. And that was everything.”
“The world doesn’t make allowances for you just because you’re different. You have to make your own way.”
“Being heard isn't always about making noise.”
“Love isn't about perfection. It's about seeing the imperfections and loving them anyway.”
“He saw past the stutter, past the wheelchair, past all the things people usually got stuck on.”
“It’s not about what you can’t do, it’s about what you do with what you can.”
“Sometimes you have to be brave enough to let people see the real you, even the parts you'd rather hide.”
“Silence can be a language all its own, if you know how to read it.”
“The greatest connections are often found in the most unexpected places, with the most unexpected people.”
“You don't need perfect words to have a perfect moment.”
Quiz
10 questions on the plot and the characters. Each answer comes with a short explanation.
Question 1
What is Amy's primary physical challenge?
- Blindness
- Deafness
- Cerebral palsy
- Paraplegia
Show answer
C. Cerebral palsy The book description explicitly states that Amy was born with cerebral palsy, which affects her ability to walk and talk.
Question 2
What is Matthew's primary psychological challenge?
- Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Bipolar disorder
- Generalized anxiety disorder
Show answer
B. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) The book description clearly states that Matthew is 'plagued by obsessive-compulsive disorder,' leading to his neurotic rituals and fears.
Question 3
Why does Amy hire student aides for her senior year?
- To help her with her homework
- To drive her to school
- To help her reach out to the world
- To make new friends
Show answer
C. To help her reach out to the world The description states Amy and Matthew are 'both in desperate need of someone to help them reach out to the world,' and Amy's decision to hire aides is the catalyst for their meeting.
Question 4
What is the initial relationship dynamic between Amy and Matthew?
- They are immediate romantic partners.
- Matthew is Amy's hired student aide.
- They are classmates who dislike each other.
- They are siblings.
Show answer
B. Matthew is Amy's hired student aide. The plot summary indicates that Amy hires student aides, and Matthew is thrust into her life in that capacity, leading to their blossoming friendship.
Question 5
What is the name of the high school Amy attends?
- Oakwood High
- Riverbend Academy
- Coral Hills High School
- Northwood Senior
Show answer
C. Coral Hills High School The book description specifies that Amy hires student aides in her senior year at 'Coral Hills High School.'
Question 6
What is a key thematic message of the novel regarding self-acceptance?
- True love requires overcoming all personal challenges.
- People often feel lost until they find someone who loves them because of their faults, not in spite of them.
- It is essential to hide your weaknesses to find love.
- Self-acceptance can only be achieved through professional therapy.
Show answer
B. People often feel lost until they find someone who loves them because of their faults, not in spite of them. The description highlights the theme: 'a heartfelt and heartbreaking story about how we can all feel lost until we find someone who loves us because of our faults, not in spite of them.'
Question 7
How does Amy primarily communicate verbally due to her cerebral palsy?
- Through sign language
- By writing notes
- Using a voice box
- With the help of an interpreter
Show answer
C. Using a voice box The description states Amy 'can't... talk without a voice box,' indicating this is her primary method of verbal communication.
Question 8
Beyond the initial friendship, what does the relationship between Amy and Matthew evolve into?
- A professional mentor-mentee relationship
- A competitive rivalry
- Something neither expected, growing beyond friendship
- They remain strictly platonic friends.
Show answer
C. Something neither expected, growing beyond friendship The synopsis explicitly states, 'what started as a blossoming friendship eventually grows into something neither expected,' implying a romantic development.
Question 9
What specific aspect of Matthew's OCD is highlighted in the description?
- A fear of germs
- An obsession with symmetry
- Repeated thoughts, neurotic rituals, and crippling fear
- A compulsion to count objects
Show answer
C. Repeated thoughts, neurotic rituals, and crippling fear The description details Matthew as 'consumed with repeated thoughts, neurotic rituals, and crippling fear,' which are direct manifestations of his OCD.
Question 10
The comparison of this novel to 'The Fault in Our Stars' and 'Eleanor & Park' suggests what about its overall tone and themes?
- It is a lighthearted comedy with minimal emotional depth.
- It is a fantastical adventure story with magical elements.
- It is a beautifully written, incredibly honest, and emotionally poignant novel focusing on young adult romance and challenges.
- It is a mystery novel with a complex plot twist.
Show answer
C. It is a beautifully written, incredibly honest, and emotionally poignant novel focusing on young adult romance and challenges. The introductory paragraph directly states it 'meets John Green's The Fault in Our Stars meets Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park in this beautifully written, incredibly honest, and emotionally poignant novel,' indicating its thematic and tonal alignment.
Say What You Will FAQ
What is the central premise of 'Say What You Will'?
The novel centers on the unlikely bond between Amy, a high school senior with cerebral palsy who uses a voice box and walker, and Matthew, a classmate struggling with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. Their relationship begins when Amy hires Matthew as one of her student aides, leading to a profound connection that helps them navigate their respective challenges and societal perceptions.
Who are the main characters and what are their primary struggles?
Amy is a vibrant but physically challenged teenager with cerebral palsy, facing limitations in mobility and speech, which often makes her feel isolated despite her intelligence. Matthew battles debilitating OCD, characterized by intrusive thoughts, compulsive rituals, and intense anxiety, making social interactions and daily life incredibly difficult for him.
How do Amy and Matthew initially meet and begin their relationship?
Amy decides to hire student aides to assist her during her senior year at Coral Hills High School. Matthew, seeking a way to earn money and perhaps find a structured outlet, applies for one of these positions. This professional arrangement slowly evolves into a deep friendship as they spend more time together, discovering shared vulnerabilities and understanding.
What role does the 'voice box' play in Amy's communication?
Amy's voice box is a crucial assistive device that allows her to communicate verbally. It's not just a tool, but an extension of her personality, enabling her to express her thoughts, wit, and emotions, despite the physical limitations of her cerebral palsy. Its presence is central to how others perceive and interact with her.
What specific rituals does Matthew engage in due to his OCD?
Matthew's OCD manifests in various rituals, including repetitive handwashing, counting, and strict adherence to routines to ward off imagined catastrophes or alleviate anxiety. These compulsions are often time-consuming and disruptive, dictating much of his daily life and making him feel trapped within his own mind.
Are there any subtle indications of Amy's hidden frustrations or anger?
Yes, beneath Amy's generally positive demeanor, there are subtle hints of frustration, particularly when her physical limitations or others' misperceptions impede her independence or desires. Her sharp wit can sometimes carry an edge, revealing a deeper resentment towards the unfairness of her condition, though she often tries to mask it.
How does Matthew's OCD influence his perception of Amy's disability?
Initially, Matthew's OCD might cause him to be overly cautious or even avoidant due to fear of 'contamination' or disrupting his rituals. However, as he gets to know Amy, her unwavering spirit and directness challenge his rigid thinking, forcing him to confront his anxieties and see beyond her physical state to her true self.
Is there a specific moment where Amy and Matthew realize their connection is more than friendship?
While it's a gradual unfolding, a pivotal moment occurs when Matthew, despite his intense fear of germs and disorder, deliberately breaks one of his own rituals or steps out of his comfort zone to directly help or comfort Amy in a vulnerable situation. This act of self-sacrifice for her signals a deeper emotional bond.
How does Amy's cerebral palsy affect her psychological development and self-perception?
Amy's cerebral palsy profoundly shapes her identity, fostering both resilience and a deep awareness of societal perceptions. She develops a strong will and sharp intellect as coping mechanisms, but also grapples with feelings of otherness, frustration over her physical limitations, and a yearning for independence and conventional acceptance.
What are the psychological mechanisms Matthew uses to cope with his OCD before meeting Amy?
Before Amy, Matthew primarily copes with his OCD through strict adherence to his compulsions, believing they prevent catastrophe and reduce anxiety. He also employs avoidance behaviors, isolating himself to minimize triggers and the need for social interaction, which only perpetuates his cycle of fear and ritual.
How does their relationship psychologically challenge and change both Amy and Matthew?
Amy's relationship with Matthew challenges her to accept vulnerability and receive help, while also affirming her worth beyond her disability. Matthew, conversely, is forced to confront his anxieties and break free from his rigid OCD patterns, as his love for Amy provides a stronger motivation than his fear, leading to significant personal growth for both.
In what ways does Amy's intelligence manifest, and how does it help her navigate her world?
Amy's intelligence is evident in her sharp wit, insightful observations, and articulate communication through her voice box. This intellect allows her to analyze social situations, advocate for herself, and maintain a sense of agency, often compensating for her physical limitations and enabling her to connect with others on an intellectual level.
Could Matthew's initial attraction to Amy be partly a manifestation of his OCD, seeking order in her perceived 'disorder'?
While not explicitly stated, one could interpret Matthew's initial interest as a subconscious attempt to 'fix' or bring order to Amy's world, aligning with his OCD tendencies. However, as their relationship deepens, his feelings transcend this, becoming genuine affection and admiration for her spirit, rather than a focus on her physical condition.
Does the book suggest that love can 'cure' mental or physical disabilities, or something else entirely?
The book does not suggest that love 'cures' their disabilities. Instead, it powerfully illustrates that love, acceptance, and genuine connection can provide profound emotional support, motivation, and a safe space for individuals to manage their conditions, grow, and find strength within themselves, making their lives richer and more fulfilling.
How does the novel challenge typical romantic tropes found in young adult literature?
The novel challenges typical YA romance by featuring protagonists with significant disabilities and mental health struggles, moving beyond superficial attractions to explore deep emotional and intellectual connection. It emphasizes mutual understanding, acceptance of flaws, and the courage to be vulnerable, rather than focusing on idealized perfection.
What is the significance of the title 'Say What You Will'?
The title 'Say What You Will' holds multiple layers of meaning. It reflects Amy's reliance on her voice box to 'say what she will,' her determination to express herself despite physical barriers. It also alludes to the societal judgments and assumptions people make about those with disabilities, challenging readers to look beyond initial perceptions.
How does the novel portray the role of family and support systems for both Amy and Matthew?
The novel subtly explores the complexities of family support. Amy likely benefits from a devoted, though sometimes overprotective, family, which contributes to her resilience. Matthew's family, while perhaps well-meaning, might struggle to understand or effectively manage his OCD, contributing to his isolation and the intensity of his struggles before meeting Amy.
Is there a message about self-acceptance versus societal acceptance embedded in the narrative?
Absolutely. The narrative deeply explores the struggle for both self-acceptance and societal acceptance. Amy and Matthew both grapple with how others perceive them due to their conditions. Their journey together is largely about finding self-acceptance through mutual understanding, which then empowers them to navigate and challenge societal prejudices.
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